Running really helped get me through a divorce.

Last divorce talk for a long time mmmkay…  sorry, it has just been on my mind a lot lately since I am coming up on my one year mark of filing.  

As I was driving back from San Diego this weekend I had a lot of time to think about how the heck I made it through the last year.  I started thinking about my running and how much it helped me to get through each day.

I remember the first run I went on after filing for divorce.  It was 4 miles, in the middle of the afternoon after meeting with my lawyer and in a part of San Jose that I had never been to before.  I didn’t listen to music and I didn’t look at my watch the entire time.  It was just me, my thoughts, my tears and my shoes pounding the pavement and helping me to deal with the 100 different emotions I was feeling at the time.  I remember my arms pumping as hard as they could and my lungs taking in quick, short and shallow breaths.   For the entire run I took right turns anytime I came up to a red light so that I didn’t have to stop running even just to wait for a light because for those 28 minutes of running I felt a little bit of hope and lightness for the first time in a while.  

Just two weeks later I decided to run a half-marathon the morning of the race and during those 13.1 miles I felt my confidence increase after it had been completely shattered and a little bit of the numbness melt away.  By running those miles fast and strong I realized how strong I am mentally and that I would be able to get through anything.  

Running got me out the door on mornings that I really just wanted to stay in bed all day.  It started my day off with a positive perspective and plenty of endorphins to deal with the tough stuff the rest of the day.  It helped me to feel gratitude and peace.   

Running helped me to feel like myself on those weekends when Brooke was gone with her dad and suddenly not only was my identity as a wife missing but I also felt like my identity as a mother was gone too.  

Focusing on training plans and races helped to distract from other thoughts and feelings that at times I just couldn’t handle.  

Having my running partners each morning there waiting for me to join them and talk to helped me get over some really tough nights.  

Over the last year my reasons for running transformed from what it used to be—>  wanting to be a competitive athlete/allowing me to eat a lot of ice cream/addicted to the endorphins thing to running now because it is my safe place, an activity that I know will put me in a better mood, a healthy outlet, my therapy and a stabilizer… oh, and I still really want to get faster:)  

So, that is why I love running now.  

Even though there are tough days where I want to quit my run early or times I feel like I have nothing left to give…  

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I keep going because it has helped, and continues to help me get through some tough stuff.  

I love the way it makes me feel. 

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What has running done for you?!?!

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132 comments

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Running has definitely helped me through so many tough times in my life. I can really relate to the way you describe those runs that are emotional, I have definitely been known to cry while running and it’s somehow the best feeling ever! I started running in my early 20’s during the time of a major breakup and big life decisions…and my running started up again as I dealt with the stress of being a new mom and realizing I didn’t have the support I needed for many reasons. Running has totally helped me become the person I am now, without it I’m really not sure where I’d be!

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Very eloquently written. Thanks so much for sharing your life like this.

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Wow that was super powerful and touching Janae, thanks so much.

I can’t say running has been as healing for me, but it has certainly been my ‘sanity,’ as you call it.

I have many memories of running to get stress, heart break, and fear away from me. I also have so many memories of it bringing me peace and calmness. Running is amazing, and I am so grateful that I have it. Thanks girl.

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running is so therapeutic! I tell my husband that it is better than paying for therapy… right?

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this is such a beautiful p
pst. running has helped me overcome an eating disorder and gave me confidence that i never had. It has made me feel proud of myself and makes me love my body for what it can do. running helps to keep my mind healthy.

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This is why running/fitness is amazing! This is my “me” time and I love it

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Running has helped me heal after the loss of my mom. I also feel a little closer to heaven when I’m out there running in the sunshine. It brings me peace.

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I’ve never had to go through something as hard as a divorce, but running has brought me confidence and has made me really proud of myself. It helped me to lose over 30 pounds, and feel incredible. I love that it is something I can always work hard at, and see improvement over time. And celebrating crossing a finish line and having people cheer for you is one of the best feelings ever!

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I am such a strong advocate for exercise (running!) to get you through divorce and stressful times in life. There is no better way to get out of bed and boost the mood than with daily exercise. While my divorce was final a few years ago, I absolutely recall running super fast, not hearing the music at all because I am busy letting out my frustrations and emotions from the process. I still have moments now when I am running where my mind drifts back to those years of the divorce process and suddenly I find myself running super fast as a way to let out those emotions.

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Running initially was a way for me to lose weight. It has turned into something much more though, and a reminder that I am strong, I am tough, and that I don’t quit <—— my running mantra. :) You really are an inspiration. Thanks for sharing your life with us!

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So glad running has been a positive outlet for you. I love how you called it your “safe place.” I agree that running has been that safe place for me for a long time. I’ve been running since I was 10 years old, and it’s just been a constant in my life that I can’t really imagine being without. And it’s a competitive outlet, too, which has absolutely helped me be less crazy in other aspects of my life :)

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Janae, I can’t imagine the year you have gone through, but you have handled it so well. Running is great therapy! Running helps me when I am stressed about something. It reminds me that everything is going to be okay and I just need to calm down.

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Beautiful post, Janae. Running was there for me when my stepdad passed away unexpectedly last year so I know how therapeutic it can be. I was always trying to be really strong for my mom, but on my runs I could allow myself to run through all of my emotions.

Even in good times I think running is super therapeutic — I love the days when I’m cruising along and just thinking about all the good things in life. Now that the divorce is finalized I hope that you are able to start focusing on all the good things during your runs again… like how you’re going to decorate your APARTMENT!!! :)

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The more and more I read about you, Janae, the more I am amazed at how awesome of a person/mother you are. I am very proud of you.

Running has helped me to love my body. I used to have an eating disorder, along with hypothalamic amenorrhea. I started lifting (and eating a lot), and HA went away. I then started running, and pushed through it all to see a brighter light in my life. Running clears my head enough to come to the realization of many things.

Blessings,
Hannah.

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I didn’t start running until my husband left. Running was hard. It was so hard I couldn’t think about him because I was too busy wondering if my legs could keep going or my lungs would explode. And now, when running is easier (but still not easy), it quiets my mind, shuts down the endless loop of “what if” that plays through. It makes me tired enough to sleep at night. I don’t know how I would have survived the post-separation years without running.

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That was so well said, Janae! It’s truly amazing how much running can help us through the tough times. It’s therapy. The open roads are the best listeners. And when we feel like everything in our lives is suddenly spinning out of control, running is one thing we can have complete control of.

Running has helped me through my own tough times and it’s also given me some of my happiest times! It helped me through a terrible breakup last summer and continues to always be there for me when I’m stressed/ sad/ mad, etc. But also through running I’ve made some of my closest friends, and made some of my fondest memories – from qualifying for the New England XC Championships my senior year of high school, to celebratory sing-a-longs on bus rides, to runners’ highs after awesome races or workouts, and everything in between.

I love running because it’s always there for us. No matter what’s going on in our lives, or who else has come and gone, running is here to stay.

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Running has been my light at the end of recovery for a while now. I blew out my knee last year and I have been working hard to get back into running shape. I can still get out there but I can’t do more than maybe 20 miles a week right now. So running is my hope for getting back to normal, and all the food.

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What a wonderful post! I look forward to reading your blog every day–you are so incredibly inspiring to me! And your sense of humor is the bomb—-absolutely love it! :))

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Running is…well, it’s hard to put into words what fitness in general, and running specifically has done for me.

I’m a Type A. I like to be perfect at things and I get frustrated when that perfection is out of my reach (I know, it’s a problem…I’m working on letting go!). But I’m not perfect on my runs. I don’t have a natural athletic ability, I don’t have very good form, I’m not the fastest person who ever beat the streets.

What I am is the best that *I* can be. I am better than the me that used to sit on the couch and wish I could run a mile, five miles, 13.1 miles. I am stronger, more driven, more goal-oriented because of running.

I’m a role model for my friends and family and most importantly these days, my little girl. I want her to know that she, too, is strong and can do big things. You just have to be brave and put one foot in front of the other, over and over again.

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The same, only when I suddenly found myself divorced I wasn’t already a runner. A couple months into the divorce began I was a spectator at a 5K. I thought it was really cool, and said “someday” I will do that. I had three young kids, living with my parents, going to school, working, and just feeling like I was treading water. Four years later, I decided if I could run a 5K, I could do anything and signed up for that same 5K I spectated at. I was so far from a runner, but I told myself I was going to complete the 5K training app and run that race, then I would never have to run another step. I have now ran that same race 4 years in a row, many others too, but that one is special. Running made me realize I can do anything I set my mind to, it cleared my mind, helped me sleep, gave me a love of the outdoors, and most importantly made me feel again.

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Wow, beautiful post! :) Running does so many things for/to me but mostly it just puts me in a better mood! No matter how I feel before a run, I always feel a million times better after a run!

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This post totally got me all choked up! Running was the first form of exercise I ever got into. It has introduced me to this whole world of exercise and fitness friends.

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Virtual hug! I’m so glad you had your running to get you through your really tough time. Running really helped me get through writing my dissertation and finishing my PhD, which was tough for me. For me, running provides a safe space where I can work through all of the stuff that’s rattling around in my brain, or to clear my mind and enjoy the scenery around me. Have a great Tuesday!

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Running has been an amazing part of my life. When I was younger, it was the one thing that I felt I was semi-good at. I wasn’t the fastest person by any means, but I was faster than the average runner and that was good enough for me. Sometimes it’s the only thing that makes me feel strong and confident. It forces me to take better care of myself (eat better foods, get more sleep, drink more water) and it takes care of me when I’m hurting. And it doesn’t care how fast or slow I go, how I look, or how many friends I have – it embraces me the second I put my shoes on and makes me feel part of something special.

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Great post. I am sure that this has been one of the hardest if not the hardest thing that you have ever gone through.
Running does so many different things for so many different people…to me that is what is so amazing about it. There are so many different reasons why people run and anyone can do it! What running does for me changes as my goals and reasons for running change….but it always makes me feel better about who I am.

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While you discovered the therapist side of running long after you fell in love with running my love for it started in the reverse. I’ve shared my story before but I will share again. My hubby died at 29. I was 25. I had a similar identity crisis. If I wasn’t his wife who was I? I didn’t feel like I fit in with my friends or family and had nothing to get excited about. Running changed that. I’m a runner first and who cares if I am single, married of widowed. :)

Hugs to u for finding your way thru a rough year.

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It is amazing what running can do. I know that whatever emotions I am dealing with I can get them sorted out better by running. Even if I ignore whatever is on my mind while I am running, when i get back I am better able to handle it. But I find that I work things out the best when I confront them during a run. It doesn’t even usually last the whole run, because within a few miles I am already feeling better.

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That is so awesome to hear! Running gave me more confidence and helped me realize I really can do anything I put my mind to!

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The day after I got dumped by a guy I was living with, had plans to move with, and just broke my lease/quit my job for … I set a 5k PR. Running is the best therapy ever.

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Well said. Running is the cheapest form of therapy. It has really helped me process difficult times. On its simplest level, I simply need to exhaust myself physically before I can calm down and deal with stressful situations. Other times it is the stream of consciousness thought process…
I find it to be a kind of emotional “reset” button.
Running has also been there for me during happy times–It’s how I suspected I was pregnant (that funny tired feeling in my legs…). How the nurses in delivery were cracking up because I felt a run during labor would “help” (not allowed in hospital, BTW). Now sharing the sport with my kids–watching them race–VERY cool!

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Thanks, Janae!
Running brought me my best friends, and I’ve REALLY needed them the last 2 1/2 years. They’ve been with me through thick and thin! Our morning runs keep us all sane.

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I know what thats like. I know what its like to run your heart out and have tears streaming down your face and all you want to do is get out of there, wherever the situation is.

I guess it’s sort of a beautiful thing about running. it helpa relieve yourself.

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Running really helps me stay balanced emotionally. My doctor says it’s better than any medicine you can take:) I agree!

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I agree and I appreciate all of this.
After my dad died.
After my son’s accident.
So much more. It has been the hardest six years on our whole family. We’re finally seeing a light but working through the pain had to be done individually. Mine was on the pavement.

So glad you were able to find some peace in this. Though not surprised, you clearly have a very strong spirit.

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Running was my therapy also. After a very difficult time in my life that completely destroyed my self-esteem, I slowly built it up again by increasing mileage. During that year, I ran a half marathon and think that was truly the deciding factor that allowed me to get out of that awful mindset. Running truly does work wonders and I’m so happy you’ve found your strength also!

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What a well-written post. Thank you for sharing, I’m sure a lot of us relate in one way or another to how you’re feeling!

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I just wrote about this yesterday too. On Friday, I got the news that a young lady I knew well, a church sister, had died after just a few months illness. And as soon as I could, I went running. I don’t know if it’s the ability to focus on just being outside, making myself tired, going somewhere new, the sound if my running shoes hitting the pavement, or my entire body being washed with sweat. Whatever the reason, running helps me deal with my situations.
And some of the best ideas I’ve had recently, came to me during a run.

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I never post, but I read your blog daily. I absolutely adore you as a person and truly find you inspiring. I played soccer my whole life then one day I quit. I never really worked out or went running again after that. At the time and for the many years after I was worn out and just done with that lifestyle. Now, I truly miss it and it is this blog/you that pushes me to go back to a fit life! Thank you for sharing your journey and reminding us always the joys of running!!

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What an inspirational post! Thank you so much for sharing this with us, Janae :) Running has given me faith in myself that, put to the test, I really can rise to the challenge. I never thought I would be able to completely 2 miles, let alone the 5 I just did for a road race last week. It’s been something that I can bond over with my boyfriend and a few friends who also love to run. And, it’s made me feel healthier than I ever have before! Those endorphins truly are addicting :)

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Great post, thank you for sharing.

Running started out for me as a way to exercise easily when I travel. It has become so much more and I get more out of it for the mental perspective than the physical (although I do love the calories you burn!). It’s helped me get through many tough times, including a divorce, and probably more ahead than I don’t even know of yet.

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your strength is so dang admirable. while very different, i use crossfit as my outlet. having a boyfriend deployed somewhere overseas (no idea where) with minimal communication tests my strength, willpower & determination daily. but starting my day with CF at 0500 sets me up for a STRONG day.

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Janae this post says so many things I have thought before too. You are so brave and so strong and well done on coming so far! You have done amazing over the past year and it’s been amazing watching you grow and overcome. For me, running has been just as significant. I have major depression and sometimes the only thing I would get out of bed for would be my run, and the only reason I would have any strength to get through the rest of my day would be because I ran that morning. Running makes me happy and makes me believe that I’m capable of more than I think I am, and I think I need it at this point – there’s honestly nothing like it.

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It has made me believe in myself more than ever before. It is amazing to think of the places my legs have taken me. Running is challenging, but no one is making me do it, I’m doing it for me because I want to strive to be better at running and maybe somewhere in there the struggle makes me a better person too.

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My heart goes out to you! I’ve never been through a divorce but I do know what’s it’s like to be deceived. Running has been so much to me. I’m not evened sure where to begin. I think the big thing is it has taught me to love myself and appreciate so much more the beautiful generous person I am.

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I really like your perspective on running to help you through some tough stuff. My dad passed away a little over a month ago. I just had emotions all over the place. I went for a late night run just because I needed to feel something. I had a really good run and the pain hit me. I just cried. But I needed to feel that pain…and running helped me work through it.

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Running got me through cancer. Well, I hope it did. I’m in remission. Two years ago, I had just started running again after taking some time off during the years of newborns in the house and was feeling great. Then I found a small lump under my arm… went to the doctor… and walked away with a diagnosis for advanced stage breast cancer. The year that followed was an overwhelming blur of chemotherapy, surgery, and radiation treatment, but it was also the year I discovered running-as-therapy. When treatment got me down, running made me feel hopeful and strong. It helped me to create a new identity outside my diagnosis. Here’s to many happy running years ahead.

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I love to hear that you are finding yourself again and coming through your divorce a stronger person! Running boosts my confidence and allows me time for myself to just clear my head after a long day or let me pound out frustrations. I love that it’s something that only requires a good pair of running shoes and you can do it practically anywhere!

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Running helped me through my divorce too and I can relate in so many ways. I came across this quote the other day and it so perfectly described my relationship with running that I thought I would share.
“Every run is a work of art, a drawing on each day’s canvas. Some runs are shouts and some runs are whispers. Some runs are eulogies and others celebrations. When you’re angry, a run can be a sharp slap in the face. When happy, a run is your song. And when your running progresses enough to become the chrysalis through which your life is viewed, motivation is almost beside the point. Rather, it’s running that motivates you for everything else the day holds.” -Dagny Scott Barrios

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I’m not a great runner (I haven’t run in a VERY long time), but it’s so great that it helped you during one of the hardest experiences a person can go through. Keep it up! :-)

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That was beautiful! I started running when I was 12 and it went from something that was putting me through college to something that helped me lose some of the extra college pounds to my therapy to my lifestyle… It’s always there for you, it doesn’t judge you, it doesn’t ask where you’ve been, and no matter how long you’ve been away from eachother… You can always always go back…. It allows me to stay in shape, eat what I want and be a good strong role model for my children… Cheers to running!

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Well said.

You are one of the strongest, most inspirational women I know. Nothing can take that away from you.

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You’re amazing& inspiring! So beautifully put. Wow!

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This is just SO perfect. Running gave me a “thing” to call my own, and gave me confidence and a sense of community that I never knew could exist between strangers.

It’s incredible the way you’ve been able to see yourself transform over the past year, and it is just beyond inspirational for all of us!

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Hey Janae!
Just wanted to say thank you for this post. I truly love all of your posts because you seem so funny, caring, and sweet, but I especially love ones like these where you allow your real emotions to shine through. You are a strong, brave woman, and I think your words are really inspirational to people going through similar situations – and even people who are not.

I think I speak for more than just myself when I say that I don’t think you need to worry about this being the “last” divorce post. I understand that you might prefer to focus on the positive aspects of your life a lot, but know that genuine, heartfelt posts like these will never bore us.

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Janae, you are a warrior. I am truly inspired by you and check your blog every single morning. On days I don’t want to run I go to HRG for motivation. So thank you. :)

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Good post! I’m sure it is hard to put yourself out there like this, but you did it very well :). Running has made me realize I can do hard things, especially things I doubt myself on! It has increased my confidence and it just makes me feel so good overall.

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Love this post and your optimism! I completely agree, running is the best therapy there is. I think all of us can thank running for picking us up during the toughest times in our life. You are such a strong woman and such an inspiration! Keep doing your thing girl! I’m excited to see you get back into your running grove, you are totally going to kick butt in your next race!

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It’s a huge deal for you to be able to run. It seems billy was such a huge part of your running and racing it’d be hard to keep doing it after the split. It’s good though that you’ve been able to transform something you love to a purpose that has nothing to do with him and is all about you.
Running for me is how I deal with stress and everything I’ve been through. It’s therapy.

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Love, love, love this! Beautifully written, my friend. Hugs!

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Don’t ever feel like you’re talking too much about your divorce! This is your blog, your space, and what has happened over the past year has significantly impacted your life, to put it mildly.

What a fabulous post, full of soul. Thanks for sharing :)

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This is beautiful, Janae. Watching and following along throughout your journey over the past year has been inspiring to say the least (and I do not use that word lightly). You have proven yourself so strong, so resilient, and such an incredible friend, sister, daughter, and mother. You’re a beautiful role model not just for Brooke, but for your readers as well. Keep rocking out, woman. xoxo

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http://erinfifewrites.blogspot.com

Running has always been something I’ve done. I think I started running when I was twelve. However it took on new meaning this past year while I was suffering though Postpartum Depression. I wrote about it on my blog a few days ago.

I have straight hair. Very, very straight.

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As for you, running helps me deal with my emotions. My latest long run was a real catharsis. http://wp.me/p37YZt-ms
I am focusing on my next race in order to forget that very soon, my life will change again

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I believe that running can pretty much cure anything. It has helped me get through some pretty tough times, most recently job loss. It has been there – and I am so glad it was!

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More than anything running has given me confidence in my mental strength. Knowing I can push myself in running and not give up translates to other areas of my life that are difficult.

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Janae, you are seriously one of the strongest and most inspirational people ever. You outlook and perspective on everything is so genuiune and I really appreciate that. What a beautiful post!
For me, running has helped me realize my true strength. Some days and runs feel great, and others downright suck. But after the bad runs, I realize that I can tackle anything if I set my mind to it.

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Running began as therapy for me. It pushed me out of my comfort zone. Running is my time to be alone, pray, and meditate. I love the example I am providing for my children.

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I love this. So much. Running has always meant more to me than just a run. It has been my constant therapy. The time that I clear my head. When I got divorced, I thought of mile 20 during my first marathon and I knew that I could do hard things. I was going to be ok. I am so happy for you and that you are in a better place, a happy place and that you have running to get you through things. Running is magic, sometimes.

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that’s so great that running has been the saving grace for you through this tough year!

i just wrote a post yesterday about how sometimes we feel sucky and not capable of doing things but running is my constant example that we ARE capable. i don’t run marathons, i don’t run half marathons and i’m not fast but i can run. this is something i never thought my mind or body would be capable of but 2 years i decided to challenge myself and through a lot of sweat and tears- ran my first 5k!

i decided to make a list of ‘all things things i’ve done that once felt impossible’ and that helps me get through the tougher days or when i’m trying to accomplish big, scary, new things!

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Thank you so much for sharing. This was very moving.

The first thing I wanted to do when I woke up this morning was call my mom. Last night I saw my ex-boyfriend for the first time since our break-up over a month ago, and although it was “fine”– we were friendly; we neither argued, nor did either of us seem like we wanted to start things up again; plus I knew we had both been invited to the same get-together, so I wasn’t taken by surprise– it shook me up. It made me sad that it was clear that we were no longer going to be friends in the way we were before we started dating and sad that things had ended the way they did. I cried in the car on my way home. I suspect I’ll cry again today.

While on the phone with my mom, I said that I wasn’t sure if I was going to run today, because I’d gone two days in a row and thought I should probably take a day off. In the end, I went anyway, and my mom wound up calling me back later to ask me an unrelated question. I told her I had gone running, and before we hung up, she said, “Have a good day. Relax.” I think she knew that if I’d gone running on a day that I was on the fence about it, it was because I needed to sort things out and “run off” some of my feelings. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, Janae, but I’m glad that I have running, too, to keep me settled on days when I feel really shaken up. Thank you again for sharing.

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Running is my alone time. It allows me to deal with whatever comes my way. It picks me up from a bad mood. It allows me to be the best mother and girlfriend I can be.

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Wonderful post! I also want to say I think it’s great and a testament to your character that you are openly vocal about keeping a good relationship with Brooke and her dad. I don’t know what he did (nor do I need to) but it must have been bad for you to immediately file for divorce. I feel many women would not do the same as you are doing in helping to keep that relationship, so for that my hat’s off to you.

Running for me is quite similar to how it is for you. I left my long-term boyfriend in a few months ago so I’m coming to terms with not being a girlfriend and not being ‘step-mom’ to his son. It’s difficult but running really helps me clear my mind and boost my confidence.

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Running has helped me get over my body dysmorphia issues. Instead of hating on my body for the flaws and trying to change what it looks like, I accepted it and appreciate it for what it can do (running half and full marathons, trail running, etc).

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Hey, don’t feel like you need to stop talking about your divorce, mmkay? ;) You’re strong and beautiful, and an inspiration to all!

xoxo

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You are so strong, not just as a runner but as a woman.
You can do hard things, not just on tough runs but in life.
You inspire people, not just with your race times but with your courage & your heart.
You are a strong, brave, beautiful human, Janae, and running only makes that more obvious. Thanks for sharing your heart with us. <3

Oh, and I run because I want to prove to myself that I can. And no one is more surprised than me when I do.

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Right there with you Janae. I got divorced in 2010, that was the year I really started running. Even before I filed for divorce running was my escape, it was time that was just for ME. Afterwards, it helped me really start to feel strong again. Though it is true what they say that time really does heal all wounds… running just helped me to get through each day. *hugs*

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Running helped me lose the 60+ pounds I gained while pregnant with my son but also taught me a lot about myself and my body. It’s my cheap therapy ;)

Thanks for sharing your story… :)

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You’ve been amazingly strong and graceful through this whole divorce of yours. Truly inspiring. Thanks for sharing.

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Running is definitely a great coping strategy – I find it’s helpful just dealing with daily stress and avoiding homicide when people I work with irritate me! It also helped me deal when I was frustrated trying to get pregnant. I actually finally found out I was shortly after beginning to train for a 100 miler, go figure!

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Hand down no question. ..the people I meet and the friends they become. PRICELESS!

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This is such a heartfelt post – I love it!
I feel many of the same feelings, although for different reasons. Running has given me confidence, health, and has taught me that I can do anything. It’s helped me get through breakups, applying to graduate school and has kept me sane through some serious changes the past few months. Now that it’s become such a huge part of my life, I don’t think I could ever stop again. If I do, I feel bad for whoever will be around me because I’ll be one grumpy person.

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Great post! I often refer to running as my “medicine.” It’s a great way to manage stress.

And bravo to you for taking the higher road and handling that whole tough time with so much grace and class. You acted like a lady and did the right thing by never airing your dirty laundry online. That’s refreshing in this age where it seems everyone shares every little detail of their lives on their internet.

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This is so great. You made me tear up over here, Janae!!! Running/Exercise does the same for me- it clears my mind and centers me and reminds me to focus on how strong I am and know that I can get through ANYTHING. <3

xo

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Thank God for running. That is really all I have to say. :)

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When are you and Mrs Hansen coming for a visit? Just sayin’. Casey and Scott Hambly

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I love this. Truly inspiring xx

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Beautiful post! Running helps build my confidence and make me feel stronger and love myself more.

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Thank you for sharing this, Janae. My husband was recently diagnosed with a chronic illness, and I am hoping that running will continue to help me cope with this. Life is tough sometimes, and it is great to find an outlet to deal with it all- or at least something the exhaust us so we can turn off our brains and sleep at night.

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I have tears from reading this post and from the comments. Thank you for sharing. Life is just so hard and we’re all facing so much. . .There is only so much talking and thinking and analyzing and problem solving we can do before we just have to give it up and go for a run. It’s like magic. You go on a run and when you get back, suddenly everything looks a little more manageable. Thank you for sharing this!

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Yay beautiful!! I feel the same way. I’ve never gone through anything as hard as this for you, but whenever I feel anything strongly–> I run it out. The best runs are always the emotionally charged ones. Also, sometimes running makes me so proud of myself because it shows you a side and a strength you didn’t know you had.. definitely teared up after my first half marathon, first 14 miler, and first full marathon.

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Thanks: I recently wrote a bit about how I trained for a marathon. In that piece I mentioned how many people have gotten help overcoming grief of a Divorce or anger or even some drug addiction at times.

Running will always be there as a help to get us through tough times as well as the good times.

By the way, I really like the interviews with Jake and Andrea, very upbeat and great stuff. Keep up the good work.

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Beautiful and classy post!. I felt a lot of the same things during my divorce and I wish I was a runner then.

Running has helped me deal with some of the effects of PPD and anxiety that has worn me down the past two and a half years. When different meds didn’t work, running helped me.

Running has also given me “me time” and a way to bond with my husband.

Thanks for being so open with your readers.

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GREAT post. I wish I had running in my life when I went through my divorce, although I probably would have run myself into the ground!

Running has brought me confidence in my physical self, which for me was and is a BIG deal. (Just broke 2 hours in the half-marathon, a big accomplishment for a newb/master’s runner! Eee!) It also brought me outside into nature and I love that gift. It just makes me want to see more and more.

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Exercise in general has been a great medicine for anxiety and depression for me. I have struggled with anxiety for the last 6 months or so and when I have a REALLY good workout, it is amazing how much better my day is. I’ve been feeling anxious lately, and yesterday I decided that I would change up my workout and work harder than I have for a while. I did that yesterday and today….WOW, I had forgotten what a huge difference that makes! What a beautiful blessing our bodies can be for us! So happy to hear yours is helping you through something so hard and thanks for reminding me that it is so important!! You’re awesome!

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I started running a shortly after my dad died somewhat suddenly last year. I honestly can’t remember what made me start (I don’t remember most of a few months there. Funny how grief affects you.) It really helped me channel that energy in a much more healthy way than I had been and gave me a bunch of small victories to break through the numbness. I know you don’t drink, but alcoholism runs very strong in my family and has taken most of my dad’s side, including him. I’m barely 21 but recognize the behavior in myself, so running both replaced my super unhealthy binge-drinking, and also gave me a reason not to drink. Running with a wicked hangover is no fun, folks.

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A great post, Janae. I’m so glad you have running to get you through your tough times.

Running has helped me immensely. Years ago I was going through an incredibly tough time where I was dealing with crazy anxiety and felt so weak emotionally. Running was not only a form of therapy, but it made me feel strong and I knew that if I could get strong physically, I could totally get strong emotionally. Thank goodness for running!!!

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I feel so much more ME when I go out and run even if it is short or alone (or with a friend for that matter) my life all the sudden has more time and more energy and good feeling- even if I didn’t accomplish a time or run for a “reason.” It gives me more center and more focus…not just the act of running (because I don’t feel those ways when I am on a treadmill) it is only when I run in NATURE!! Outside.

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I love this! Running does this for me too, the good the bad, the ugly, I love running and wouldn’t change it for anything! You are amazing, keep moving forward.

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Wow what an honest, amazing post. Thanks for sharing, and I’m sure it felt better for you to get that off of your chest as well. Nobody expects you to completely forget about such a huge thing in your life so quickly, and I think the way you’re expressing how you feel about the whole situation is so healthy and great and in the end, positive.

Running has done pretty much the same for me through all of the trials of life. When I have a tough situation, it’s my go-to therapy session. No amount of anything else has ever given me the peace of mind and clarity that a good run does. When I can’t run, I notice myself getting upset more often and snapping more easily because I can’t go out and deal with the things that are bothering me as they come up. I am so grateful for how it has affected my life, and I hope it always remains that rock for me.

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Running has helped me cope with the grief/depression/anxiety of losing our first baby when I was 30 weeks pregnant. I ran my first half marathon 3 months after that. Many miles were logged with tears streaming down my face. But I feel like having a race to train for and something to look forward to “saved” me in a sense and helped me get through a really, really hard time. (I started reading your blog shortly after losing my baby, almost 2 years ago!) I still struggle, every day, with anxiety…but running helps me to run out the “crazy” and it reminds me that I am stronger than I think:)

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I love this post and I truly admire how strong you are! Running helps clear my mind and keeps me calm. It is one of the few times that I don’t have to worry about anything else because I’m in the zone and just focusing on myself. It helps a stressful situation become less stressful for me because I know I am strong enough to push through.

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If someone were to ask right now who my role model is, I would say you. :)

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Tears in my eyes. Beautifully written.

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The endorphins that running alone gives me are incredible, and I love them! I also love how I can just have “me time” while I am running, and think about whatever I want to think about without having to worry about doing anything else but putting one foot in front of the other.

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I think I understand what you mean when you sar “running is my therapy” – but please remember that real therapy is something different and helpful for many people. Therapy can be an outlet for people to express their emotions, gain insight and clarity in a safe space.

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I started running right after I got a divorce in 2005. Much like you, it’s helped me heal in ways no words can describe. On the hardest of hard days, it will make you feel like the world is not ending and that YOU CAN GET THROUGH ANYTHING!

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That’s so great that running helped you get through what was I am sure a very difficult time. Hopefully your post will inspire someone else to do the same. Happy running!

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Running has helped me through so many challenges. I have struggled with depression my whole life, and running is the #1 thing that keeps me mentally healthy. I wouldn’t be who I am without it!

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God bless it. <3

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Thank you for sharing this.

I am on week 4 of a “couch to 5k” program and at this point I still think running is torture (ha!) but I’m hoping to love it soon ;) I have noticed my breathing is much better and I don’t feel like I’m dying after my runs so I think I’m off to a good start.

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Running has gotten me through dealing with recurrent pregnancy loss. We lost our third baby in a row this last weekend (I’m 27, married w/no kids, have done all the testing and there is no found cause) and after reading this post this AM I went on my first run since the bleeding started. If we wait a few months to get pregnant again, I plan on training for another marathon to release the sadness.
Running and being outside in the Georgia sun is my therapy.
Thanks for sharing!

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Caitlin I am truly so sorry about what you have been going through. I wish I could give you a big hug right now.

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Running and Pilates as well as my friends and family has helped me through the most difficult 2 years of my life thus far. My mom was the healthy grandma to my kids and then so sick with a cancerous brain tumor and multiple tumors throughout her body. For the next year I was her care giver. She passed last October and I am not through the sadness. However, running has helped me to start each day fresh and have a positive attitude for myself and my kids.

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When I was 15 or so, I decided I wanted to get into a little better shape. I was playing soccer 3 days a week but it was summer time and I wanted to do a little more. This unfortunately turned into a dangerous web of eating disorders and then once the eating part was adjusted a disordered sense of my body image–I wish I could say that it has completely left my conscience but it hasn’t. That said, it doesn’t come knocking as often and I can say that is largely due to running.

Through it all, I have had running. Which has built a profound sense empowerment and inspiration inside of my very core. The feelings of fulfillment and strength through the realization of physical and mental accomplishments of endurance are deeply-rooted. When I’m out doing a workout, a long run, a recovery jog whatever, I am a runner. As a runner I get to transcend the other categories that I have been sorted into–I’m not just a woman or a millennial or a member of a certain socioeconomic class–I am a runner which allows me to relate and be a part of a group that promotes personal bests, physical progress and mental toughness. So much of what’s out there, especially the stuff out there that is specifically targeted towards young women suggests that as women we ought to strive to be the thinnest, the most fashionable, the best in bed etc, in order to be truly proud of ourselves. The values of running on the other hand are true sources of pride–strength, endurance, progress, focus, diligence, fitness, camaraderie. And every runner has access to their own versions of these achievements–men/women/seniors/kids/overweight/fit/novice/elites. As a young woman I am constantly bombarded with messages about my worth as it relates to my size, my love life, my choice in clothing. I, like so many others (unfortunately) have had my own personal battles with issues related to this and running has been my saving grace–a place where I can escape all the noise that really doesn’t matter at the end of the day. When I PR, or conquer a truly painstaking workout, or hit my splits perfectly, or seem to have eaten the perfect pre-run meal to fuel my long run, it doesn’t matter what the scale says, or how my hair looks at the moment or that I am not the skinniest, prettiest, smartest person around because I am proud of myself for exactly who I am–my strong legs, my willpower, my drive, my energy–all of these accomplishments have been made possible by me. Running has helped me realize my potential. Running has instilled in me a sense of confidence and unwavering determination. Running has, quite frankly, saved me.

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Running is amazing for helping us to make it through such seriously tough times! It’s also brilliant that you can look back at the last year and know that if you can make it through your divorce, you really can get through anything. Brooke will be so proud to have such a strong mother.

I suffer from depression/anxiety. At the moment it’s particularly bad and unfortunately I’ve got shin splints so I’m not supposed to be running. I am finding it really hard to remain positive, while not having the support of running. It’s times like this you realise how much running can do for you!

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I wish I had discovered the joy in running a long time ago. I’ve only been running for a year, but in the past year I have realized even more that I am capable of achieving anything I put my mind to. Congrats on coming so far. Each year gets easier and you will get stronger and happier as time goes by.

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This was a beautiful post, Janae. I think it’s pretty amazing that you were able to use running as a healthy outlet for all of the emotional stress you suffered. And now, you are a much stronger person because of it. I started running after my dad passed away from Pancreatic Cancer. It helped me to cope very much in the same way and allowed me to be in a place where I still felt close to him (he was always running and into fitness).

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Janae- I totally agree…and you said it well! I wasn’t a runner in my “past life”. But once I started, my ex saw me running in our neighborhood one day and said snarkly, “What? You’re a runner now?” I responded with, “Well, I finished my first half-marathon last week so I guess I am!” BEST FEELING.
Total release, total therapy, total “me” time……
❤️

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Hi Janae,
The way which you have handled your divorce on the blog has been amazing-it takes true strength to not get ugly and vindictive.
I recently divorced too and have been through the run sobs and running with no watch and running 100 mile weeks to numb the pain and just wishing I could run away.
Learning who I am again after being a wife has been easier since I am a runner, but still difficult. My running family were a huge support to me and I will always be grateful for the people who have been there for me.
Sending you a HUGE hug from New Zealand. There are so many people cheering you on right now.

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I filed for divorce after 17 years of marriage, just days after I completed 18 weeks of training and ran my 4th marathon. That was November 14. Since then I have run 3 more. Although my training has been sporadic and my moods have swung many times, I agree that, like with you, that running has helped me deal with the rest and allowed me to keep a strong sense of self. Thanks for your post!

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Running has been my friend & enemy, my identity, my addiction. It has transformed me, disciplined me, destroyed me, & prepared me. My last run on 3/21 is a nagging memory I long to erase & cling too as I recover from 2 knee surgeries. Completing 5 marathons in my mediocre career is nothing compared to regaining strength, range of motion & walking. Running, I still love you & long for the day when I am back at it. Until then, it’s the hope of running that gets me through one more squat, leg press & heel slide.

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Running is therapy that keeps me in balance. I have struggled off and on with depression and it is always the meditative state and perhaps the endorphins too that bring me to peace within myself. Running makes me feel strong and confident and challenges me when I need it. I am so sorry that you have gone through and are going through all of this as I know it is a one day at a time process. Hugs!

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This is such a great post. I started running after a devastating break-up…it became my literal way to “move forward” from it. I am so fortunate that running is now a part of my life, and will be a part of my life for the rest of my life. I think running can get me through anything, really. It’s a great time to shut out the world around me and take things into perspective. It was such a positive that came out of something so negative.

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What a great post. I really hope that running treats me the way it treats you and so many of your readers. Your passion for the sport is inspiring, and I am so happy I found your blog. Thank you for being so open and sharing so much with us.

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This brought tears to my eyes. You’re such an inspiration.

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Running definitely got me through being laid off a few years ago. I had just started a half-marathon training plan when I was notified that I was being laid off and had one month left at my job. Running got me through that tense last month at work and gave me purpose after my last day at work when I didn’t have to get up to work in the morning anymore. I became obsessed with it and it made me so happy! Unfortunately, I injured my left IT band in the last couple weeks of training, and I had to take it easy before the race. I managed to finish the race in about 2:22 even with searing pain in my IT band and taking tons of walk breaks near the end. It was so painful, I still don’t know how I did it! I was really devastated and felt like my body had betrayed me, because I knew that I could have done better than that if I hadn’t been injured. Ever since then running has not been the same. After a few miles I get IT band pain. I ran eight miles this past thanksgiving for a turkey trot and then really hurt my right (opposite) knee! It’s really discouraging. I know I should focus on strengthening leg muscles to prevent IT band pain and keep trying, but I’m too lazy/discouraged so I just don’t even run anymore. Not to mention I’ve gained 15 pounds or so since I stopped running, and that discourages me even more. Wow, I didn’t mean this to come out all sad! Anyway, yes, running can really help in life! Wish I could figure out how to get back to it.

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Running has opened up a world of fitness opportunities for me. I have accomplished way more than I ever thought I could and owe it all to starting to run!

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Running has done a million and one things for me over the years. Although I can’t relate to divorce/having kids involved, I did call off my engagement a few weeks before Boston this year. One of the hardest things I have done, and lord knows I wouldn’t have gotten through it all (even now) without running and great friends. Glad to see you are doing well, and glad that running has been a wonderful coping mechanism for you.

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Janae, you are one amazing cookie. I wish I was in Provo so that I could run with you. Running has gotten me through my teens, graduate school, and adulthood relatively sanely, and now motherhood. Running is my decompression time, and quality time with my dear friends. We have gotten each other through all of life’s perils together and I’m really grateful for all of it :)

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Janae, I loved this post. Thank you for sharing this.

Although I have been running for years, and have always found it therapeutic in a general sense, I recently lost my sister-in-law. Without running, I honestly don’t know how I’d be keeping it together. That sounds really superficial to the friends and family members of mine who don’t run – I feel like they don’t get it – so it helped me a lot to know that running has helped other people in very tough times too :)

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I’m so happy running has helped you so much! It has helped me get through some things too :)

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Lots! I am going through lots of stress right now and it’s the one thing in my life that is giving me confidence and happiness. Glad to hear it’s helping you too!!

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