Thank goodness for time.

February 3, 2014

This last weekend marked the 6 month date from the day that I filed for divorce.

I spent a lot of time over the last few days really thinking about things (I have mastered the skill of not thinking about painful things really well but every now and then I can’t stop thinking about it for like 30 hours straight;) and analyzing where I was 6 months ago and where I am now.

It made me realize how thankful I am for time.

When everything first happened I would always try to tell myself that time heals everything and that everything would work out…  it is great to be optimistic and all but at the same time I felt like that type of thought didn’t validate how I felt at that moment.   So I don’t mean to tell anyone that is going through a really hard time that what you feel right now doesn’t matter since eventually you will be fine…  because what you feel right now does matter and it does hurt.  BUT I do want to offer a little bit of hope to anyone that is going through heck or anyone in the future that will go through something like what I did.

It really does get better.

For the first month after I moved back to Utah my mom would sit on my bed every night and talk to me and give me a head massage until I fell asleep because I couldn’t fall asleep on my own.

I remember celebrating the first time that I didn’t cry once that entire day a month or two later.

I went through a really angry stage (hello 1/2 marathon PRs).  A really depressed stage (hello not wanting to do anything besides eat ice cream and watch Parenthood) and all of the other emotions you can imagine

and finally

I started feeling like Janae again not that long ago and I called my sister to tell her the good news.  She understood perfectly.

The pain from my divorce went from a daily struggle 6 months ago to now when it is a once every few weeks struggle (usually correlating with when Brooke is gone).

Time really is one of the best gifts possible.

It gives you the ability to get away from the hurt.  It allows you the opportunity to start feeling more comfortable and secure with your new normal and it proves to you that you are strong and that you really can push through anything.

Time heals all wounds no matter how deep or how painful.  I really did believe at the beginning that it would be impossible to feel the way I do now but somehow it happened and I know that it will continue to happen and my past will get farther and farther away me.  Hallelujah.

And that concludes yet again another time where I post something that makes me feel extremely vulnerable;)  I just hope that it can help anyone else struggling with things to just get through a day at a time and before you know it, it will be months down the road and you will be back to yourself again.

Remember how you thought this was a running blog?!? Ha.

Just in case you are here to read about running and babies….

-I am in love with the PureCadence 3s.  In love.  They have taken over the #1 shoe slot in my life.

-26 days until my next 1/2 marathon.  We are going to have two hard weeks of training and then a nice little taper and then we will be ready to race March 1st in sunny Phoenix.  I will finally defrost.

-Brooke no longer calls me Elmo anymore and she now calls me Nae.  Baby steps.  I am guessing by the time she turns 2 that she will call me Mama.

IMG 7563

-I didn’t watch one second of the Super Bowl yesterday and I am more than okay with that.

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Did you watch the Super Bowl?  Did you have a favorite commercial?

How much longer until your next race?

Current favorite running shoe?

Joey February 3, 2014 at 11:25 am

These posts just happen to be my favorite. I appreciate that you let us see what is really going on in your life. Thanks for being so open and vulnerable, & letting us share in your walk.

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Lindsay February 3, 2014 at 11:26 am

Hi Janae – thank you for being vulnerable with us! Your vulnerability makes you human, and we appreciate that! I’m going through the same thing in my life, but at the very beginning stages. It’s hopeful to know that things will get better!

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Brittany February 3, 2014 at 11:29 am

So glad to hear how much better you’re doing! Time really does make things much better.

I watched the Super Bowl and was COMPLETELY unimpressed by everything that was happening. Manning just couldn’t keep his team. It was a total bummer. The best part of the game was Tim Tebow’s T-Mobile commercial, I thought that was HILARIOUS.

My next race is just under 7 months away! Counting down the days, minutes, seconds!

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Jane February 3, 2014 at 11:31 am

Thank you for your heart-felt post! It is so great to hear someone be genuine about their feelings!

I have a race this coming Sunday in Arvada, CO. (we are flying out there…I live in Chicago). Super excited because its been a REALLY long time since I’ve raced a 1/2 marathon and its been a REALLY long time that its been safe/warm enough to run outside.

Hope the sun is shining on you in Utah today!

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MartinaNYC February 3, 2014 at 11:33 am

Great post girl, I’m so happy you’re doing better. Things are only gonna improve more and more from now on, you’ll see! You’re so strong.

I haven’t been racing in a looong time and I’ll be running a 5K in the beginning of March and the NYC Half Marathon in mid March. These races will be a preview of my most important spring race: the NJ Marahon at the end of April!

Didn’t watch one second of the Superbowl- went to the movies instead and watched back-to-back movies while stuffing my face with pop-corns… loved it!

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JT@The Faux Foodie Girl February 3, 2014 at 11:33 am

Time truly is a friend and the best gift possible we could have been given. It’s been a year now since my divorce and I am finally feeling like myself…There is really light at the end of the tunnel!

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Rocio February 3, 2014 at 11:34 am

<3<3<3<3 I really loved this post. I knew you were going through all of this because I was going through a breakup and it doesn't compare at all and I was going through it. You were so positive though and it made me feel like I might not be handling it as well haha I remember sending you pictures of my dogs because dogs always make us feel better, so do babies but I don't have any haha I am so glad you are doing so much better and yes it does get much better the more time passes :)

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Kristen @ Glitter and Dust February 3, 2014 at 11:35 am

You are a strong woman! I can’t imagine going through something like that and having to deal with all of the emotions. It sounds like you are in a better place now and have a positive attitude going forward. I love how genuine you are when sharing your stories. Have a wonderful week!

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Jeni February 3, 2014 at 11:41 am

It takes a really really strong person to allow themselves to be vulnerable! I appreciate these posts so much right now! I’m not going through anything as hard as you are, but as someone in a big transition period of their life that is a bit more emotionally charged and lasting longer than expected, I just want to say how much your “vulnerable” posts and your positivity is a great part of my day! Also, I’m dying to try the Pure Connects- do you ever run in those?

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Summer February 3, 2014 at 11:42 am

You have no idea how many times I repeat to myself “you can do hard things”, you inspire and encourage so many, we love you!!!!

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Michelle @ A Healthy Mrs February 3, 2014 at 11:49 am

Thanks for being so honest & vulnerable — it’s not easy! <3

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Beth J February 3, 2014 at 11:51 am

This is SUCH an encouraging post Janae! As always, thanks for sharing and being vulnerable because you always help me and so many others so tremendously in doing so!

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Victoria February 3, 2014 at 11:58 am

We all love you Janae. I know how hard divorces are (been two years since mine) and it does take time. I am so happy that you are starting to feel better :)

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jrm February 3, 2014 at 11:59 am

This is all so true. Thank you for sharing with us. Really.

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Hali February 3, 2014 at 12:00 pm

Thank you for always being so honest! This post was beautiful and boy can I relate. I have watched parenthood on many depressed days during the last month and have seen my emotions and moods go up and down, up and down…. thanks for the reminder that things do get better. XOXO Keep hanging in there!!

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Linda February 3, 2014 at 12:03 pm

Janae, I have been through a lot in my life. You are very right. Time can heal anything. A person has to let it. For me, forgiveness for those that had hurt me was huge! It wasn’t for those that had broken me. I forgave for myself. Just thought I would pass thst on for anyone that may be reading your comments. I am very proud if you. You are strong! Let the world hear you ROAR!!

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Adriana @Laced Up With Lipstick February 3, 2014 at 12:09 pm

So glad you’re feeling like yourself again Janae!

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Brittney @ Sweets 'N' Greens February 3, 2014 at 12:14 pm

I love this post! It reminds me some of my favorite quote from when I was unemployed and struggling to find a job I loved last year – “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not over it’s not the end.”

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Cherie February 3, 2014 at 12:17 pm

Thank You:)

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Joy February 3, 2014 at 12:17 pm

I LOVE this post Janae!!! And I’m so excited to hear you say that you love the PureCadence because THAT IS THE BEST SHOE!!!! :D I have the 1s but I am okay with that…they serve me well! Can’t wait to upgrade someday though :)

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Courtney @ Don't Blink. Just Run. February 3, 2014 at 12:26 pm

Very well put and I bet it will help more people than you know. I’m glad to hear how much better you’re feeling!

I did watch about 1/2 the game last night. I think my favorite commercial was the Budweiser with the dog and horses. SO cute!

My next race is actually 2 weeks from yesterday and my fave shoes have always been Mizuno Wave Inspires.

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Erica Tavares February 3, 2014 at 12:26 pm

Hey Janae!

My name is Erica and I have been following you for over 6 months, but this is my first time ever leaving a post! Eeeeek to trying new things! haha Anyways I absolutely LOVE reading your blog and it is a bit ironic that you should write this type of post today. I have been going though a lot lately and it all sort of culminated in a nice (or not so nice) meltdown this past weekend. So thank you for writing this and for reassuring those of us going through hell that it does get better. I think deep down we all now that it will eventually get better, but when you are right in the thick of something awful it is hard to truly believe that. So thank you for being vulnerable and real with us, but also for staying positive and giving us hope! Most of all thank you for writing/creating your blog!! It has done more than you could ever know to lift me up when I need it most!

So glad to hear that you are doing better. Good luck with your upcoming half; I can’t wait to hear how it goes!

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Valerie February 3, 2014 at 12:34 pm

Such a wonderful post. Retweeted it. So positive! I’m happy things are starting to look up for you. It’s now been a year since I’ve been through something similar and I too am feeling better.

ALSO, free fro-yo today :D

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diana February 3, 2014 at 12:45 pm

Reminds me of the song lyrics ” Mama whispered softly, time will heal your pain, life is about changing, nothing ever stays the same.Its ok to hurt and its ok to cry. And she said come let me hold you and I will try, How can I help you to say goodbye?

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Victoria February 3, 2014 at 12:47 pm

This post is wonderful, and how brave of you to put it out there. When we lose someone we love, it’s such a challenge to let ourselves hurt and at the same time let ourselves heal. Very glad you’re feeling better! Your blog and your strength are so inspiring – keep on going!

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Ben @morerunlesseat February 3, 2014 at 12:48 pm

Favourite running shoes are my Adidas Boston 4s

Half marathon on 23/03

Getting there with my training :s

Great blog. Thanks for sharing : )

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catie February 3, 2014 at 1:05 pm

First of all {HUGS!} to you and Brooke. I would buy you some fro yo in celebration if you lived anywhere near me. I love these posts, it makes me feel like we all get to know you better and I just love that! Also, I love that Brooke is calling you Nae because one of my best friend’s name is Junnae and we all call her Nae or NaeNae.

I have a half marathon in May that I’m about 95% sure I’m running. And my friend is trying to talk me into an indoor tri in two weeks, eek! Good thing it’s a short sprint tri and only a two mile run. On a treadmill. ;)

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Amber February 3, 2014 at 1:06 pm

Another post that is exactly what I needed to read, you are helping me so much also. So true time heals, I’m heading towards the one year mark in March and even the difference from the 6 months mark till now is drastic. Just got to keep riding it out and feeling the emotions here and there. You have so much more happiness and relief to look forward too.

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Caitlyn February 3, 2014 at 1:06 pm

So many hugs, Janae! You’re an amazing person and I’m so glad things are getting better for you.

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Steph February 3, 2014 at 1:14 pm

I watched the superbowl to see 1 commercial. And of course, they forced me to watch until the end as it was one of the last commercials of the night.

The puppy love commercial by budweiser. If you haven’t seen it yet, you need to youtube it right this second because it will make you cry and smile all at the same time.

Seriously. Best commercial ever created. And anyone who doesn’t agree has no soul ;)

I am very happy to hear that you are doing so much better with everything!!

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Rachel @ My Adventures As A Rinderknecht February 3, 2014 at 1:16 pm

You are such an amazing person, and I admire your strength! :)

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Leigha @ Minougirl February 3, 2014 at 1:36 pm

When you open up it makes us love you even more! I think part of the reason time heals us is because it becomes routine. When you first filed for divorce you had to start a new routine all over and it was hard for change. But now you’re used to your new life and you know what to expect every day! So happy you’re feeling back to old Janae :) <3

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Becky @ Ok, so here's the plan February 3, 2014 at 1:37 pm

I watched the Super Bowl. It was terrible. I loved the budweiser commercial – who doesn’t love puppies?

My next race is in 46 days a hilly half marathon in Sleepy Hollow, NY

Currently my #1 shoes are my PureFlow 2s, but my new Transcends should be here tomorrow if the snow doesn’t keep them away so we’ll see if they shake things up. I’m kind of ridiculously excited for them to get here :)

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MILF Runner February 3, 2014 at 1:42 pm

No Super Bowl. I’m so totally NOT into it.

Getting to be YOURSELF…that is the best feeling. Time is such a wonderful healer.

The pic of Brooke and the stroller is just about the sweetest thing I’ve seen a long time :)

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Sandy February 3, 2014 at 1:51 pm

Glad that you are starting to feel better and able to share it. Things will continue to get better and it does rally make you realize how strong you really are. I am so sorry that you had to go through such a painful event in your life.

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Christine February 3, 2014 at 2:21 pm

Oh and a p.s. could you please tell your friends at Cafe Rio to open up more franchises out east?! It would be greatly appreciated! :)

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Christina (Sisters Running the Kitchen) February 3, 2014 at 2:25 pm

so happy to hear that you are doing better these days. its okay to feel vulnerable….but i think writing down your thoughts and feelings is important. and you also offer other people going through similar situations some hope which is awesome. you are an inspiration and a beautiful woman…you will be a-okay in the end lady.

Did you watch the Super Bowl? Did you have a favorite commercial? i was cooking for the first half (and I was alone…how sad is that? haha) but i watched the second half and the half time show.

How much longer until your next race? march 16th- NYC half!

Current favorite running shoe? I like the nike structures!

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Katherine February 3, 2014 at 2:33 pm
Laura February 3, 2014 at 2:44 pm

Janae, you are amazing! Thank you for this post. It is incredibly brave and selfless of you to show you are vulnerable. I think it is so important to say things like this….you are helping so many people who are going through a tough time. I’m so happy you’re starting to feel like yourself again.

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Debbie @ Deb Runs February 3, 2014 at 2:47 pm

I’m glad that time is allowing you to heal. Your mom sounds amazing!

So many of the ads are pre-released so you’ve seen them before the Super Bowl. My favorite commercial that I hadn’t seen yet was the Pistachio ad with Steven Colbert. It was hilarious and my son’s reaction to it was even better!

My next race is a 5K next Sunday! Woot woo!

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Kay February 3, 2014 at 2:54 pm

Your countdown to March just freaked me out.. it’s really soon when you put it that way. crap.
I didn’t watch a second of the Super Bowl or anything about it. I heard on the radio this morning that someone lost really bad… don’t even know what teams played. don’t care. haha
I don’t have a race scheduled until april but maybe something fun will come up in between?
My fave running shoes are Asics gel-cumulus. just ordered a new pair called lite show because they glow in the dark :))))

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Caitlin February 3, 2014 at 2:56 pm

Time really does help. I had two miscarriages in the past 8 months – no kids yet. I knew I was going to be really sad at first but feel back to normal. I will occasionally have relapses when random people ask me why I don’t have children yet. Not what I want to hear!

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Melissa @ Mel's Miles February 3, 2014 at 2:59 pm

How wonderful that time heals all wounds – even when we don’t believe it will. You’re right that the bad feelings DO matter and it is necessary to process them. Once you’ve done that, you’ll be able to move on and resume regular life – but better this time :D I’m glad you’re feeling like yourself again!

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Christina February 3, 2014 at 3:01 pm

I can imagine through this post you are helping so many.

I did watch best part was eating jalapeño poppers. The 80s commercial I liked prob cause I’ll be 38 this month. I loved halftime!

Next race is my first 15k valentines run.
Pure cadences are my fave can’t wait to order the 3s for my bday!

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ashlee February 3, 2014 at 3:04 pm

Thanks for being so honest and vulnerable. I know that hearing your positive words are encouraging to me. Time does seem to help a little. I lost my grandmother 7 months ago and miss her dearly. Experiencing the holidays and everything was hard. I guess a divorce is a like a death but only harder because the person is still around. Anyways, I admire your strength, honesty, and courage. I hope one day I’m as strong as a Mom as you are. You are so inspiring.

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Ann February 3, 2014 at 3:06 pm

I’m glad you’re feeling happier these days and moving forward. I’ve been reading since right around the time your blog started but have only commented a few times. You seem like a wonderful woman and a great mother, and I hope that things continue to get better and better for you and Brooke.

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DaSilentAssassin February 3, 2014 at 3:43 pm

I can totally relate to running angry :) whaa? You are running the 1/2 in phx? I signed up for my first full cuz I thought you were running. Sigh

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Michelle February 3, 2014 at 3:43 pm

Oh Janae I love reading your blog. I went on a cruise last week and missed your daily updates. I also love what you have to say today. I am a 30 year old LDS YSA and time has helped me through a lot. Hope you celebrate today with froyo! Thanks for your inspirational words.

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autismmum February 3, 2014 at 4:31 pm

Hi Janae. I admire your strength but most of all your determination to be positive when its the last thing you feel like doing. I remember a time after my twins’ diagnosis that I thought I’d never be happy again but I’m so glad I just carried on – for them and for me. Thanks for sharing your journey and being honest yet positive. And your daughter is truly gorgeous (I’m a mother of 3 sons so I get my girl fix at your blog)xx.

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Holly February 3, 2014 at 4:36 pm

You. Are. Amazing.

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Natalie Ririe February 3, 2014 at 4:37 pm

Hey–I think you are totally powerful for putting this out there !! So many people keep it in and it does not really serve anyone. Way to rock. I love seeing your happy face.

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Kristie February 3, 2014 at 4:40 pm

Thank you so much for this post Janae. I’ve been a long time reader, and have never commented, but I wanted to tell you how amazingly strong I think you are. I can’t even fathom how hard these past few months have been for you, but you always seem to put a smile on your face for that beautiful baby girl of your’s. I’ve been going through a difficult time myself and I have my days where I feel great and then days like today where I want nothing but to crawl into bed and cry. This was EXACTLY what I needed to read today so thank you so much. Keep your head up :)

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Anne February 3, 2014 at 5:05 pm

Stay strong Janae! I admire your strength and willingness to share your vulnerability. As I’m sure you can tell from the comments, your worlds help many others heal! If you haven’t already seen this, you should check out this TED talk by Brene Brown about vulnerability; it helped me put a lot of things in perspective, and I hope it warms your day. I love reading your blog! http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

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jade February 3, 2014 at 7:34 pm

I really love that talk.

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Amy February 3, 2014 at 5:11 pm

Janae-
I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this post. I filed for divorce a week or two before you did and reading your blog for the past 6 months has made me feel a little bit more normal. I don’t know about you, but I know very few girls my age (31) who have been through a divorce, and that just makes it a all the more scary and lonely. I love your running posts – but I’m so grateful that you decided to share this part of your life with your readers too. Thanks so much!

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amy February 3, 2014 at 5:12 pm

I love this post Janae. You said it so perfectly in my opinion. I think all who love you are grateful to see the progress you’ve made. Ive been praying for your well being and for healing for your heart. Trials really suck when u are going through them but when u finally make it through, you somehow look back and are grateful for the things you’ve learned (at least in my own experiences and something you never think u will feel at the beginning of a trial). And even the circumstances are not exactly the same, your experiences give u the opportunity and wisdom to help someone else in need down the road.
I know you will continue to be blessed. Hugs to you!

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Megan S February 3, 2014 at 5:28 pm

Thanks for posting this Janae, I always like it when you let it hang out a little bit:). I am very glad that you are starting to feel better.

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maria February 3, 2014 at 5:30 pm

What an honest and beautiful post. I read several blogs on a daily basis, but yours is my favorite. Maybe it’s because I’m a mom, runner, with one little girl, who also seems to love the same food you do!

Three things I did this weekend: PR’ed in a 4Mile race (wahoo!); got a massage and had some scraping and cupping done, and watched the Halftime show at the Superbowl!

xo

keep writing :)

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Runningwithscissors February 3, 2014 at 5:57 pm

Love love love my Brooks Ravenna 5′s!!!!
Next race is in two weeks. It’s a half but won’t be ran for time as the route is sure to be crazy snow covered and slippery.

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Losing Lindy February 3, 2014 at 6:25 pm

I love how strong you are, and you are so inspiring in every aspect of your life. ((hugs))

BTW..if your family calls you (Mom, Momma, etc) she will too

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Jodi February 3, 2014 at 6:31 pm

It is uncomfortable to write about personal issues but you are right, if it helps someone else then it’s worth it:)
I’m training for a half in May, helps to have something to focus on during these long cold winters.
Favorite shoes…Mizuno Elixer!

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Tessa February 3, 2014 at 6:48 pm

Janae, I only comment sometimes (don’t want to feel like a stalker who comments everyday or something?!), but I really want to just thank you for this post and all your others. I am going through a hard time and your words make it a little bit easier and really remind me that it will be better in time. Thank you for sharing!

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Amy February 3, 2014 at 6:56 pm

You are so right! Time really does heal everything. When I got divorced I was 29 and convinced I would never want to marry again and would be fine being single forever. Time healed me though and I learned exactly who I was and what I really needed from a partner. I am so lucky that I found the love of my life after and still feel amazingly lucky every day. So in a nutshell I just wanted to tell you that all will be right again and not only right but better than ever.

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Tracy Johnson February 3, 2014 at 6:59 pm

I don’t typically comment but have been a faithful reader for well over a year now. You and I have had VERY similar paths but I was about 6 months ahead of you. So many times I have wanted to reach out to you and give you words of encouragement because while I don’t know your exact situation, I can fully relate. When I was going through my first 6 months, I ran in and PR’d 2 marathons. Running is truly what got me through the pain and anger of my situation and I am soon going to be hitting the 1 year anniversary of my divorce date. All of your words ring so true and it is wonderful that you are able to share this experience, no matter how painful, with all of your readers as you are without a doubt an inspiration.

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Another under 30 divorcée February 3, 2014 at 7:06 pm

Kudos to you for your bravery and honesty! I agree with others, posts like this are some of my favorites! Thanks for sharing…

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Hannah @ palmbeachrunner February 3, 2014 at 7:08 pm

Thanks for being so open, it is so true that time is so healing in itself. and allowing yourself the time is just as important. such a good post!

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Monica February 3, 2014 at 7:10 pm

You have such a gift for sharing challenging things for the purpose of serving others! I teared up when I read the part about your mom helping you fall asleep….thank goodness for time and also for wonderful people who help us breathe when we can’t quite manage it on our own. Thank you for your words.

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char eats greens February 3, 2014 at 7:17 pm

I really need a new running shoe BAD and need suggestions (I’ve never worn Brooks shoes – or Brooke’s for that matter ;)). I agree that time can heal and make you stronger. Glad you’re getting through everything, and head massages?!?! Send that mom of yours over here…I kinda prefer back scratches tho! haha

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Jaclyn February 3, 2014 at 7:17 pm

Thank you for sharing! I love your blog and I would love to visit Utah and have froyo with you :)

You are exactly right…time heals :). I quickly filed for divorce at the age of 24 and I thought my life was o.v.e.r. However, it was not over and it led me to bigger and better things (another cliche no one wants to hear but is true). Stay strong!

My next run is a 10K Shamrock Shuffle.

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Kristen February 3, 2014 at 7:20 pm

Oh Janae. This is beautiful. And so are you. Thank you for being an inspiration to us all!

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Annette@FitnessPerks February 3, 2014 at 7:22 pm

You are amazing! This post is so raw & beautiful. Writing is always cathartic for me, so thank you for sharing your thoughts. This must be hard to write about, but you are right, it makes your readers be able to mourn with you & feel joy with you too. <3 xo

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Whitney February 3, 2014 at 7:45 pm

Thank you so much for this post!

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Lis @ 26.2x2 February 3, 2014 at 7:49 pm

I did watch the Super Bowl, up until the very last 10 minutes wen I gave up on Denver and fell asleep. I was really disappointed in the commercials this year, with re exception of the awesome Audi hybrid commercial.

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Amy @ crazysweatymommy February 3, 2014 at 8:29 pm

Superbowl = not interested 1 bit
shoes = I just bought the Asics gel Kayano Lite Shows love love love

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Liz February 3, 2014 at 9:11 pm

Loved this honest post. Honest posts are difficult to write, but so cathartic at the same time. I’m glad you are doing better. Hopefully you can remember that the next time you have a bad day (something that’s hard for me because bad days mean I concentrate on the negative).
No Super Bowl for me. Too much time is spent in time-outs for football to keep me entertained. I know, totally un-American of me. ;)
No races because there’s ice everywhere in Logan! And, while I run in an Asics, it isn’t my favorite. I need to figure out a favorite shoe but doing so is expensive!

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Elizabeth February 3, 2014 at 9:25 pm

Gosh, you’re just a rockstar. I was about two months behind you, so I’m only at four months out, but isn’t it so incredible what time does for us?! I remember thinking about how I didn’t think I could, or know how to, live (sounds melodramatic, but I trust you can relate). But I posted this quote up in my room and tried my hardest to live by it every single day: “if you ever feel like giving up, there’s a little girl watching who wants to be just like you. Don’t disappoint her.” I just want to tell you that you haven’t disappointed your sweet Brooke, and you should be confident in that. You’re an amazing mother and just a darn good and relatable blogger! Good luck continuing on this journey-I hope it just keeps getting easier and easier!!!
Oh, and I can relate to the name confusion! For some reason, my two year old never took to calling me mom….she still to this day calls me “babe” because that’s what her dad called me!!

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Kelli February 3, 2014 at 9:42 pm

Loved this post :) probably one of my favorites you’ve ever written!

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Mary Rose February 3, 2014 at 9:57 pm

It makes me so happy to hear how well you are doing! You are such a strong, amazing person, and you were such a rock to me when I went through my marital problems and divorce. I am so glad you are feeling back to yourself again, that is the best! I love and miss you girl!

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Nicole February 4, 2014 at 2:18 am

Your strength and honesty make me admire you even more! It’s not easy to put yourself out there and so vulnerable but it will give you even more strength. One of my favorites posts, and I will return to read many times when things are tough. Thank you!!

Didn’t watch the Superbowl as it’s not that big in Australia and also on at an odd time here.

Unfortunately all my races are out for the year, had an accident and have torn a knee ligament :( Have to go in for surgery soon and am ver nervous. First ever major injury and I’m really struggling with it. Never been to hospital and VERY nervous.

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Tammie February 4, 2014 at 3:35 am

You are so right! Whether it be divorce or sickness or some other form of grief it takes time. I am happy you have learned that you can embrace your feelings but celebrate the little victories. You are going to be fine and you are blessed with a wonderful family. Thanks for sharing!

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Chelsea February 4, 2014 at 4:02 am

Thank you for your honesty! For every person who comments, there are 10 who are more lurkers like me, and all of us care about seeing you continue to heal. You are SO RIGHT about time healing wounds. It’s exciting to think that if you’re feeling this much better now, how much better you’ll be in a year, 2 years, etc.

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Alison February 4, 2014 at 4:29 am

Thank you for sharing. It is wonderful to be open, it helps to heal what we are so scared to reveal to others and to ourselves.

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Whitney February 4, 2014 at 5:23 am

Your strength is amazing and a really moving thing to read about. I am sure that you have struggled, but you have been so graceful in it all.

Bless you and thinking of you.

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Katie February 4, 2014 at 6:09 am

I always say Time heals all wounds :) You are so strong, beautiful & brave. Thanks for sharing <3 Always thinking of you & that sweet girl of yours.

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karla @ finding my fit February 4, 2014 at 6:20 am

This post is hands down one of the best I’ve read. I have difficult days still after the horrible breakup but I do know that time has really healed everything–I’m so much happier now!

Sure, I still cry once in a while. I still get angry/bitter/depressed about ‘what could have been’ but I know there’s people going through far worse than I am.

You’re such an inspiration! <3

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Angie B. February 4, 2014 at 7:27 am

I’ve been following you for a while and just adore you. :) We have very similar paths…I’m about 8 years behind you. I put my (ex) husband through law school, connected him to a great job and he showed his appreciation by having an affair with his admin assistant. (I’m mean, how cliché is that?!) Anyway, I’m super-duper close with my family and very religious, so those two things dug me out of a deep hole when I was 27. (ugh!) Now, I’m 35 and very happily married to a rock star. I promise time does heal. Just stick close to God and your family…you can’t get better than that. And, looking back, even though those times sucked, it’s also very special to me since I got to live with my family again. Keep your chin up and you’ll come out stronger then ev-er! :D

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Lisa @ Running out of Wine February 4, 2014 at 7:47 am

This was a very inspirational post, and I agree that time is such a blessing.

I watched the first half of the superbowl and went to bed at half time.
I think I have 9 more weeks until my next race- the Rock N Roll Raleigh Marathon
Right now I am rotating between pureflow 2s, purecadence 2s, and pureconnects. I want to hear more about how the pureflow 3s compare to the 2s!

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Jessica February 4, 2014 at 9:58 am

Glad to hear you’re hanging in there. It took 6 months for my divorce to go through, then I got weak 3 months later and remarried him. I don’t recommend it. We have the same issues 14 years later, it’s hard! Good luck Janae….you are a tough lady!

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Jennifer L. February 4, 2014 at 12:39 pm

You have inspired me since I started reading your blog, and you continue to do so, especially now. About 8 months ago now, I was cheated on by the first guy I really loved, in a public setting (college newspaper) with the editor-in-chief. Everyone knew. Everyone talked about it. I was absolutely humiliated and ashamed. Now, when I say everyone, I mean about 150 college students. I truly cannot imagine having to put on a brave face for the entire world to see. But with that being said, I think you are doing an admirable job. I am sure it must take a whole lot of strength to be able to do this (although of course I don’t know your situation).

I completely agree with you about the magic of time :) I remember when I was at my lowest point and honestly didn’t think I would EVER feel better. And every now and then I would look back and say “Hey, i’m doing better than I was last month.” And it does get easier. Just imagine where we will be another 6 months from now!! :))

Brooke is very lucky to have you in her life, and so are us readers to be inspired by you!

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Arica February 4, 2014 at 1:05 pm

While I was going through my divorce, a good friend of my mine once said, “You will wake up one morning and the world will feel okay again. You will remember what it felt like to be yourself and too feel happy.” I was skeptical at first, but you are right. Time heals and I’m happy that you are feeling like yourself again. That’s important :)

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Jessica February 4, 2014 at 6:55 pm

SO glad you are feeling better!

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Jen @ countryroadrunnerwi.blogspot.com February 5, 2014 at 8:17 pm

I think your amazing and strong and you really motivate me! Thank you for showing us your true self. I’m so glad that your getting back to feeling like you.

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Amanda February 6, 2014 at 6:30 am

This is such a beautiful post! Thank you for being so honest and open. You are a true inspiration to me. Sending you lots of love and light

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Loribeth February 6, 2014 at 10:45 am

Great post……….I admire your guts! Did not watch the superbowl, but watched the Oikos greek yogurt commercial a few days before……….Full House reunion with hunky John Stamos in the spotlight!

No race booked until a half marathon in June in BEAUTIFUL Leipers Fork, TN!

Favorite shoe: almost anything by Mizuno.

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Niki February 7, 2014 at 8:17 am

Wow…great post. Great realizations on your part. It’s so amazing what a support system you have. Keep rocking girl!

*http://expertbrand.com*Performance Apparel for Men and Women

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Ashley May 24, 2014 at 9:20 am

Going through a difficult time myself after a very similar situation. Finding your blog and reading your words has helped my hurting heart find some comfort. Just wanted to say thank you!

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