When it isn’t convenient.

December 30, 2013

And another post where I probably over share

Lately I have been really thinking a lot about how to become the person that I want to be.

It happens when it isn’t convenient.

It is easy to be kind to people when life is easy and going perfectly.   It is really easy to be happy when you are in Disneyland and you have a churro in one hand and a frozen lemonade in the other.  Cheerfulness comes naturally when our world is just the way we want it to be. Our smiles are big when we get that job we want, when we run that pr race or have the ‘perfect’ family

but

we really show who we are and how strong we are when it isn’t convenient.

Our true character doesn’t shine when everything is just great, grand and wonderful.   Who we really are comes out when the going gets tough.

This is something that I have been thinking about a lot over the last 5 months (not good at this principle yet but I am really really really working on it).

My overall goals during my divorce (not the most convenient time of my life;) have been to attempt:

To be kind to others when my day was not going the way that I was hoping it would.

To reach out to others and lift them when I need to be lifted myrself.

To be grateful for everything I have when complaining is a lot easier to do.

To be the best mom for Brooke when being a single mom and providing for my little girl can be stressful.

IMG 5934

Like everything in life I have found a way to relate this to running.

Screen Shot 2013 09 14 at 2 10 05 PM

If you really want to reach your goals as far as running goes you have to do it when it isn’t convenient.

Sure it is easy to run those first few miles of a race at a fast pace because our legs are fresh from the taper. It is easy to go for a run when it fits into our schedule perfectly and the weather is beautiful.

What do we do when the going gets tough?

Do we endure?

We prove what we are made of when we are busy and don’t have nearly enough time to train everyday.  It is when we are half-way through a race and start wishing we were at the finish line when we really show what we are made of.  It is when staying in bed would be so much easier and warmer than hitting the pavement.

It is when the temperatures are extreme and our legs are tired from a previous workout that we show our strength and become the runner that we want to be.

It’s not always going to be convenient to get out the door for your run or to spend a few hours of your Saturday doing that long run but if running a certain race at a certain pace is your goal then you will train even when it isn’t convenient.

It is when we do ‘it’ (*whatever your it may be right now) when it isn’t convenient that our efforts really pay off.

And on an extremely random note, I really want one of these:

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What are you running goals for 2014?!?!

Ashley Rader December 30, 2013 at 10:51 am

Janae I love your post today because it so true. We must strive to be better people when we are dealing with tough things. This year has been difficult for me to say the least. I have dealt with two pregnancy losses (one of which was ectopic and required chemo and hospital treatment to terminate) and my sister was diagnosed with Leukemia the day before Thanksgiving. Even though sometimes I want to shout out to the world that I am beyond stressed and upset and dont feel like working, running, or even holding a friendly conversation, I have to remind myself that everyone is working through something and if everyone was grumpy to each other all the time it would be quite unbearable. Thank you for your inspirational post and I, like you, will do my best in 2014 to be positive and perservere through tough times. Because I believe its how we handle tough situations that better defines who we are.

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Leah December 31, 2013 at 1:27 am

Hi Ashley, how is your sister doing? I am sorry you’ve had such a rough year :(

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Ashley Rader December 31, 2013 at 8:51 am

Hi Leah,

Not too good, at first she was given a very good prognosis, 80-90% survival rate so we were very optimistic but she has had so many complications with the chemo our optimism is dwindling. It seems like everytime we get good news about her condition we get bad news about 12 hours later. For instance yesterday morning her marrow biopsy showed no leukemia in her marrow which means she doesnt need a bone marrow transplant, so were all like “whoopeee!”, but then yesterday evening her doctor when in to drain an abscess on her intestine caused by a complication of the chemo, usually a routine procedure. But in this case they accidentally broke through her colon wall which is very bad given her condition. Surgery is not really an option for her right now as they feel that she wouldnt make it through so prayer and positive thoughts are really all we have. Watching my 21 year old sister go through all of this makes my issues seem so trivial, even though pregnancy loss is a very hard emotinal thing to go through. It def puts everything into perspective and makes me thankful for what I do have and not what I dont have.

Thanks for asking about her condition, its nice to know people I only know through HRG blog care enough to ask :).

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Leah December 31, 2013 at 1:29 pm

I am so sorry to hear this :( I really hope in the upcoming days/weeks/months it turns around for her. It is not easy seeing someone go through this, especially such a close family member. When you cannot do anything to help them it is the hardest thing imaginable. 21 is so young as well. Prayers that she will make it through this.

I hope this year brings a healthy pregnancy for you. Keep having hope and a positive attitude. Don’t give up. xo

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Ashley Rader January 8, 2014 at 12:40 pm

Thank you for your support and encouraging words! 2014 is going to be an awesome year for me, I can feel it. . .

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Adrianna January 5, 2014 at 8:11 pm

Blessings to you and your family :)

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Ashley Rader January 8, 2014 at 12:40 pm

Thank you !!! :)

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Run Charly Run December 30, 2013 at 10:52 am

Divorces are never convenient. But you WILL get through it, and then like the hard training you go through for a race, you will be SO thankful for it!

Best thing I ever did was slap papers down on my ex-husband, and now I’ve improved my marathon time by over 65 minutes! Hoping to BQ in 2014.

Best of luck to YOU! Still cheering for you to get that sub-3!

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Rhonda December 30, 2013 at 10:55 am

You are such an inspiration!

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Meredith December 30, 2013 at 11:04 am

Love this!! Keep your head up and show yourself some extra love this week – like maybe get a massage or get some awesome bath stuff like this: http://www.lushusa.com/Ceridwen%27s-Cauldron/00592,en_US,pd.html#start=5 OR this for some at home feet love: http://www.lushusa.com/Volcano-Foot-Mask/9999902152,en_US,pd.html#start=4

Even when we do hard things, we have to give ourselves a break sometimes and recognize that “it” is hard for a reason. And yes we endure, but enduring takes a lot of out of us. Don’t forget that we must show ourselves the love, forgiveness, compassion we need to replenish ourselves.

2014 goals: sub 13 hour IM!

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Tiffany December 30, 2013 at 11:09 am

I don’t even know you…but I love you. I really admire your strength through this whole situation. It isn’t easy at ALL to be positive through the tough times; but you have done it and you are a true inspiration. Keep doing your thing girl — we’re all here to support you!

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Michelle December 31, 2013 at 4:53 pm

I love you too Janae.
I found running when I divorced. It was the best therapy ever. And it led to a healthier lifestyle.

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Alice @dailysweetpotato December 30, 2013 at 11:10 am

I applaud you for your truthfulness. I know we bloggers generally only see the happiness that is going on in your life, but that is usually far from the truth. Like everyone, we struggle and have those not-so-convenient times where we just want to complain and sit in our pajamas (and complain some more)! Don’t worry, time will heal all wounds. I hope you feel better and your divorce goes by as painlessly as possible. You are probably one of the sweetest mothers there are around and Brooke always looks so happy. Believe me when I say, you are doing everything right and are just going through a slump! :)

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Luba December 30, 2013 at 11:24 am

You made me cry- but in a good way:) Reading your post this afternoon was like looking in the mirror. Thanks a bunch for the inspiration!

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Jesica @rUnladylike December 30, 2013 at 11:31 am

Great post Janae and so true! We MAKE time for the things that are truly important to us. During the holidays I fell into the trap of not wanting to run or workout when it wasn’t convenient. I’m looking forward to a fresh New Year and being completely back on track! Happy 2014! xo

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MILF Runner December 30, 2013 at 11:34 am

So unbelievably and entirely true :)

Can you shine in your darkest hour? You are doing it.

My 2014 running goals:

1. Run
2. Run without pain
3. Have the running look graceful again

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Johanna December 30, 2013 at 11:39 am

Janae, this is so true!

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Lis @ 26.2x2 December 30, 2013 at 11:46 am

You hit the nail on the head with this post! According to my husband I am nice to everyone when the going gets tough, and then I take all of my stress out on him. One of my goals for the New Year is to be better at NOT taking my stress out on him. I think I’ve already gotten better at it, but this is something I need to continue I work on. And running-wise, I’m looking forward to completing my first 26.2!

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Katy Brown December 30, 2013 at 12:10 pm

You are an amazing, insightful, thoughtful person. I also went through a separation earlier this year and it was incredibly difficult. Even when my brain told me all the positives my heart would still ache. And you’re absolutely right you have to keep yourself busy with other interests. Because in the end you can’t change the circumstances so you can spend that time in misery or pushing through. I’ve never commented on your blog before but I truly enjoy reading it.

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Amy @ Long Drive Journey December 30, 2013 at 12:25 pm

I love your goal to lift others up even when you don’t necessarily feel “up” yourself. I think that’s why so many people (including me) love your blog. Even though I know your life isn’t perfect, I love coming and seeing cute pictures of Brooke or reading about your running or whatever it may be. I think it’s those bad times in life that really define who we are.

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Jen December 30, 2013 at 12:27 pm

Literally every moment of the last few months when I am having a terrible day, I think of you and your strength that you have shown through this divorce. I know that if you can make it through this, I can get through another horrible day at work (hate my job so, so much but can’t get out right now) and through my family crumbling (parents are divorcing, dad has been in a mental hospital for months because of it, grandma died, ugh..). Everyone has their own struggles. I want my biggest resolution of the new year to go back to my original self of being kind to everyone, no matter how bad of a mood I am in. NYC has really torn this from me. I am constantly in a bad, rushed mood and want to scream at everyone and sometimes do! It’s terrible. I need to remember they may be going through something horrific and give everyone a little break. Love you Janae.

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amy December 30, 2013 at 12:28 pm

Great post Janae! You are so right. And what I love about you is that you end it with something totally random. You make me laugh.

My life has not gone as planned but really how many people have the perfect life of their dreams? I can just say that I will be 37 in 19 days and I like me so much more now than I ever have. I still have a ton of issues I need to work on but as long as I have another moment of life, I can do that and sometimes I work on it right away and other times I let it slide. Thats life I guess. The awful and hard things ive been thru (and continue to go thru) have just made me stronger and able to endure. One foot in front of the other.

You are a runner. You are strong. You have come so far already. You will have days you shine and some you don’t. But you can do it.

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Lisa @ runningoutofwine December 30, 2013 at 12:36 pm

What a great post! This is so true. I am still trying to figure out my goals for 2014. My husband always tells me I need to set higher goals for myself, so I am going to try to do that this year. I am thinking my marathon goal will be to break 3:50 (which is about 15 mins off my PR). I think I need some other running goals that are not based on time, but haven’t quite decided yet.

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Veera December 30, 2013 at 12:47 pm

Janae, you are such an inspiration, and you have been ever since I first stumbled upon your blog. You are just amazing!

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char eats greens December 30, 2013 at 12:51 pm

I like the truth behind this message. It really is so much harder to accomplish things when things are inconvenient, which just goes to show how dedicated one is!! I absolutely love this message!!!

My running goals are to do 3-4 half marathons in the new year. I would love if one of those happened to be a rock ‘n’ roll, which we would need to make a vacation out of because none are coming close to me!!

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Christina December 30, 2013 at 12:56 pm

I so needed to hear this. Rushing, traveling, buying, shopping, I need to work on the nice part when others aren’t so nice. Also wondering when I can run during travels 3 kids and a hubby. But I can and I will.
Thank u for inspiring. Happiness is a choice. I chose this.
Hugs to u and cheers to the rest of your life!

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Running Rosa December 30, 2013 at 1:05 pm

Great post! And all so true. Getting lost in the minutiae of life makes us lose perspective sometimes.

In 2014, I’ll continue to try to be a better person and race my tushie off. My biggest goal is to BQ. We’ll see how I do.

Have a great new year!

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Kate A December 30, 2013 at 1:16 pm

Beautiful post Janae thanks for sharing!

My goal is to run a 15km with my Dad who started running this year (and is already faster than me – uh oh!), and run a sub-2 half marathon – my last one was 2:00:11 (so close!).

Happy running this week!

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Marissa December 30, 2013 at 1:24 pm

I couldn’t agree with you more and it can be such a blessing to understand who you can truly rely on.

Running goals: PR on a 1/2, run 2 races with the hubs, and a 5k with my 9 y.o.

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Elizabeth December 30, 2013 at 1:42 pm

My goal is to run the entire length of the Indianapolis Mini Marathon. Last year my goal was to run the Mini 5K so I feel I’ve come a long way.

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Rachel December 30, 2013 at 1:44 pm

This is a fantastic post. I’ve been sitting here all day trying to convince myself to get outside and run. I am so tired, it’s sort of cold, and laying in bed reading sounds so much better. I am now getting up, putting on my shoes, and heading out the door. Thanks for this.

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Barb December 30, 2013 at 1:51 pm

Hi Janae! Just checking in with you again. I wrote you a bit ago shortly after my husband died in September. Love this post. Things are so hard right now but I just have to stay strong and keep moving forward. Even when I don’t want to. Even when I am so overwhelmed. Even when I am completely exhausted. We can do this. If you are ever in Ohio, or I am ever in Utah, we are getting together to run and get frozen yogurt. I’ve already got it planned out. Hang in there, we got this!

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Zinia December 30, 2013 at 1:57 pm

I really liked you post today, I completely agree with you, I’ll aply your word this 2014, I have a good feeling about this year to come.

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amy December 30, 2013 at 2:02 pm

I really like this post…. however, your child does have two parents, right? You are technically single and a mom, but Brooke is not being raised by a single mom. She is being raised by both her parents.

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Brittany December 30, 2013 at 2:10 pm

Such a great post Janae! <3

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Katie Cordova December 30, 2013 at 2:12 pm

If you really want to reach your goals as far as running goes you have to do it when it isn’t convenient.

I really love this quote. Hits home right now.

Please check out my blog as well. http://www.dreaminspirerun.blogspot.com/

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Annette@FitnessPerks December 30, 2013 at 2:18 pm

You are amazing!! SUCH a great post. And so so true. We grow the most & become who we are meant to become during our darkest, hardest times. That is when our faith must shine through & we rely on the hope. The hope that we can be happy and can find peace <3

xo

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Dolly @ Run Dolly Run December 30, 2013 at 2:23 pm

Thank you for sharing. You make me want to be a kinder person Janae.

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Kathy December 30, 2013 at 2:25 pm

My goal is to get back to the “self” I was last fall (2012) 11 pounds lighter…happier with myself…liked myself more…and I exercised a lot more so I felt all around better.

Sugar,cravings and life got the better of me in 2013 so I fell back to my old ways….but, I am done beating myself up over my set backs and ready to tackle the life I was meant to live.

“Let It Go” (from the words of our favorite song/movie Frozen)

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Dominique @ Eat, Pray, Lift December 30, 2013 at 2:44 pm

Fantastic lesson/thoughts, and that analogy is excellent [and so relatable!]. Thanks for sharing…I’m feeling inspired! :)

How has your Monday been so far? Still praying for you! You are so strong, and you’re already a full day closer to Sunday!! Keep it up, and remember that you CAN do hard things!
xo

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Kristina December 30, 2013 at 3:31 pm

Great post….and so very true with running and in life in general.
My running goals for 2014 include completing my first half and full.

Have a great day today…the end of the week is almost here!

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Alyona Oborn December 30, 2013 at 4:32 pm

Janae!
Im so sorry to hear about this, Billy served in Ukraine in my branch, we were very good friends, Im so sorry to hear that, your family was just so perfect, I wish you all the best and send you a big hug, you are such an inspiring person and I love your posts!!! Be strong!

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Andrea December 30, 2013 at 4:34 pm

I am late to the bandwagon on reading this but I love it. I’m printing it out and saving it for rainy days when I need a reminder of how lucky I am. I am a mom of 4 year old twins who has gotten hooked on running in the last year which led me your blog about a year ago. Even with all you are going through, you’re a such a breath of fresh air to read every day. Sending lots of blessings to you for a next year filled with smiles.

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Michelle December 30, 2013 at 4:39 pm

Loved this Janae. And I have a feeling this is going to be a great year for you and B <3

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Michelle @ A Healthy Mrs December 30, 2013 at 5:04 pm

Great attitude — keep it up! :)

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Missy December 30, 2013 at 5:09 pm

I just made a huge announcement that I am going to do a running streak starting January 1st to February 18 which is my birthday! Super excited!

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Cyanne (RunStretchGo) December 30, 2013 at 5:12 pm

You are such an inspiration!

It’s so true that its easy to be all unicorns and rainbows when life is throwing you nothing but flats and slight downhills, but when you’re facing a tough hill, or even a full mountain, it’s easy to turn into Oscar the Grouch. I definitely wear my feelings on my my sleeve, although oddly, when asked about how things are going, I’m very much a my lips are saying one thing my face is saying another kind of person.

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Molly@This Life Is Sparkling December 30, 2013 at 5:42 pm

I so needed to hear this today. Thank you Janae<3

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Christina@LiveDreamRun December 30, 2013 at 6:02 pm

People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within.

- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

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Leah December 31, 2013 at 1:32 am

Beautiful quote.

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Patty December 31, 2013 at 6:55 am

What a perfect quote for what Janae was describing.

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Zame December 30, 2013 at 6:16 pm

Hi Janae,
I just have to tell you how great this post is. LOVE IT! Everyday I look forward to read what you have written. You have motivated me to keep up running even when I’m not “feeling it”.
My running goal for 2014 is to add mileage and become faster (I’m super slow!!!). Also do more races.
Hope all is well for you and your family. ¡¡¡FELIZ AÑO NUEVO!!!!

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Kay December 30, 2013 at 6:37 pm

You’re always such a great inspiration, what an honest and open post. I bet I’m not the only one that was motivated by your words!

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Ashley December 30, 2013 at 7:17 pm

One of my all time favorite quotes:

“Two things define you: Your patience when you have nothing and your attitude when you have everything.”

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Kelly December 30, 2013 at 7:26 pm

Love this and agree 100%. I had these thoughts this morning after I got home from work and was trying to fall asleep (duh, like you said, when it’s not convenient). My goals for 2014 are to be more consistent and tackle another half or three :)

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Jen December 30, 2013 at 7:48 pm

Thank you for an amazing post. I got goose bumps reading it. I made some pretty big goals for myself in 2014 including a second marathon and grad school. This post was just what I needed to read!

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Kayla @ kpLOVINGit December 30, 2013 at 8:16 pm

Those are fantastic goals, and I think you are doing and have already been doing a great job at living up to them!

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Christine December 31, 2013 at 12:56 am

I’ve really admired the way you’ve handled everything. You’re a great example. You should write a book when all is said and done!

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Leah December 31, 2013 at 1:31 am

Thank you for this post Janae. I lost my Dad to cancer this year and it was the most heart breaking thing I’ve ever been through. Every time I see a picture or post mentioning your Dad I find it so lovely that you have a good relationship. I am happy to see 2013 go, and really feel like I am ready to deal with the loss of him. Anyway, I don’t even feel like I can put what I want to say into words properly, but just know that I am thinking of you throughout your whole divorce and just want to say keep going. You CAN do hard things. It’s okay to be hurt as well and just say “This really sucks”.. sometimes…but I admire your strength through all of this. Happy 2014.

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Mia Thomas December 31, 2013 at 4:33 am

Wow! I cannot say how moving your post is. I am going to print it off and post that line “when it is not convenient” on my mirror.

This Christmas season has been extremely hard and I admit that I’ve been a Scrooge. I have had a hard, hard year and justified my poor attitude on what has been happening in my immediate family, all of it out of my control. You reminded me that the one thing I have control over is how I respond to these facts of life is my attitude. As of this moment, I am turning over a new leaf.

Thank you!

PS

Love the analogies of running or being at Disneyland! It is so true!

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Leslie December 31, 2013 at 6:03 am

Thank you for opening yourself up to your readers and sharing these inspiring words. Keep what doing what you’re doing. P.S. Brooke is adorable thanks for sharing her too! :-)

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Sarah December 31, 2013 at 6:36 am

Such a wonderful post, and so very true. The part about trying to be kind to people even when you are having a bad day reminded me of this post I saw on Facebook the other day (http://www.ibelieve.com/inspirations/be-kind.html).

Just FINALLY started running outside again since getting injured in September. Running goal for 2014: Have patience–I am more than willing to; give up long distances (for now) in favor of running regularly and injury free.

Happy New Year! 2014 is going to be a great one for you. I can feel it :)

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Jessica M. December 31, 2013 at 6:53 am

Running goals for 2014, run 2,500 miles ( I didn’t even come close this year), re-qualify for Boston/PR in the marathon and complete a 50K

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hilary (runbelieverun.blogspot.com) December 31, 2013 at 7:58 am

Run a 3:13 marathon by the end of 2014, break 1:30 in the half marathon, break 20 min in my 5k time. Enjoy time with my family and avoid procrastinating. Still unsure if I am going to break my running streak or not, I have anxiety about not running everyday!

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Jill B December 31, 2013 at 8:37 am

I thought about your comment this morning when my alarm went off (for the second time) and I REALLY didn’t want to get up and run. I was even talking myself into doing weights or something else at the gym while brushing my teeth. But then I remembered your post the other day about not just waiting for things to be convenient and I took my butt to the treadmill and knocked out 5 miles. So thanks and have a great 2014!

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Tori Dog Runs December 31, 2013 at 9:49 am

You got me out for run today.

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Kialei December 31, 2013 at 1:47 pm

Like many people, I SO needed to hear this. It’s easy to justify not being the person you want to be when things get rough, because you DESERVE it…. but, like you said, that’s when you really learn about your character.

Thanks for the reminder :)

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Kady December 31, 2013 at 2:43 pm

I met you on your plane ride from CA to Utah after just leaving your marriage. I didn’t know it at the time and never would have guessed by your sweet disposition and never ending interest in me, my family, my running, etc… So, if being kind at a time that’s ‘not convenient’ you, my friend, are succeeding! Much love! Xoxo

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Anissa Angelosante December 31, 2013 at 4:18 pm

I just wanted to day that I thought this was a beautiful post. I saw on the news today that athletes are some of the best when it comes to being strong successful people in other areas of life. We are able to focus and accomplish the sights we have set for ourselves. Yes, the going gets tough but we always seem to make our way out of those dreadful times in running and in life! Thanks for the little reminder of this thought.

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Denise G. December 31, 2013 at 4:37 pm

My running goals for 2014 are just to get back to it. I really haven’t run a lick (except to the bathroom) since finding out I was pregnant in June. I don’t know if I’ll attempt a half next year or not, but I’m on the lookout for a spring 5k so I can start training after my little guy arrives.

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Tiffany December 31, 2013 at 5:03 pm

This post has me crying. Be strong mama; you are doing great. It also inspired me. I had the best thing ever happen to me 6 months ago. My little boy! But now I am scared of running long distances. I am just not back to the old me, but my running goal this year is to run my 2nd marathon.

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Katelyn January 1, 2014 at 9:09 am

Thanks for this post!! It is such a good reminder, and something I have been learning over the last couple of months, as well.

Happy New Year!

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Livi January 2, 2014 at 4:48 pm

I’ll be running my first half marathon in 2014! I can’t wait!!

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Melissa @ Freeing Imperfections January 5, 2014 at 11:10 am

You are right on with all of this. With the cold and recent snow storm here in New England, it’s really easy to be cold and rude to others because the piles of snow and walking through slush are not ideal or fun. It’s also the least fun time of year to be training for a race. I can relate to the running thing as well because it’s really not what I want to be doing, but I have to push through and do it just like I have to push through and be nice to others regardless of how much the weather may try to dictate my mood.

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lindsay January 5, 2014 at 2:26 pm

well said friend. Growing pains and enduring make us stronger and more REAL

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Peachylau January 14, 2014 at 11:32 pm

Beautiful words x

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