I get a bunch of emails and comments asking about how breastfeeding is going for me so I finally got around to writing a post about it:)
I didn’t ever talk about breastfeeding on the blog when I lost my milk because I felt really bad about it (like really bad) but I now realize I did everything I could even though I didn’t ‘make it a year.’
I was able to breastfeed Brooke for 4.5 months and then I lost my milk. I honestly think it had nothing to do with running because I ran high mileage and was able to breastfeed for 3.5 months but I think a lot of it had to do with exclusively pumping.
Brooke didn’t really latch on that great and so she would never eat very much at a time in the beginning. I was always worried that I wasn’t feeding her enough and she was waking up a lot throughout the night because she was hungry.
So, I tried pumping a bottle and giving it to her. She gulped it down no problem. It just made sense to me to pump everything to feed her because she ate so much more this way and she absolutely loved the bottle (she still does… I have no idea how I will transition her over to a sippy cup).
(She used to play with her hair the whole time she drank)
Obviously pumping and then feeding her took a lot more time than just feeding her did but the time was so worth it to me to continue to pump so that she would still get my milk, eat enough and then sleep for a lot longer during the night.
Long story short because I feel kind of awkward writing about all of this was that my supply slowly went down (and when that happened I started running less just to be safe that it wasn’t my running affecting my supply. I also made sure I was eating plenty of calories, drinking enough water and I took Fenugreek) until I finally lost it.
I felt awful that I wasn’t giving Brooke the ‘best’ and the $$ of formula didn’t help either. I am a perfectionist and before I had Brooke I focused it on myself/size/running but now that I have Brooke I turned that perfectionistic attitude toward being the best mom ever and I felt like I failed.
After talking to my mom, sister, SILs countless times about the situation I finally realized that I did everything I could and that is all that matters. What really matters is how I play with her and read to her and cuddle her and spend time with her and help her explore and sing to her and all of the other things I do with her.
What I learned from this experience: Focus on the things we ARE DOING not the things we aren’t. We are enough.
I think Brooke is turning out pretty awesome so we must be doing something right;)
Moms reading: tell me your breastfeeding experience!
Anyone have to pump often? How did that work out for you?
How and WHEN do I get rid of the bottle and switch to sippy cups?